I just watched an episode of ‘Brothers and Sisters’, an American drama series where one of the main characters is a gay lawyer. In this episode, the lawyer had to hide his true colors from an important client just so he can bag the client’s business, upon advice from his bosses, since they did not exactly know the personal beliefs of the client re gay people. Rather than risk losing the client, he just played the safe, ‘I am straight’ card. And this drama series is set this century, I should say 2006 or 2007 at most!
One of the major motivators why I knew I had to set up my own company was that growing up, I had seen so many closeted gay men of a previous generation lead double lives – one for their companies, one for their true selves. And the sad truth is, there are a lot of gay men, not only in my generation, but also in this generation, who have opted to play the safe ‘I have a girlfriend’ card, just so they can protect their ‘corporate image’! You would think that ridiculous in this day and age, but unless you work in a ‘gay-dominated industry’ like advertising or entertainment or the call centers, I would bet you that gay men who work in other industries have decided to build a fantasy life just so they can please their predominantly heterosexual bosses!
Frankly, I don’t think today’s heterosexual bosses would really mind if you were gay or not. Of course, some rules have to be followed, especially that the corporate world is really, still a very conservative place. So having transsexuals or cross-dressers as top managers in, say, manufacturing companies may not be the norm – yet – but is something other industries like the beauty or fashion industry – would not blink or even care about. However, a lot of ‘butch’ gay men have already made inroads and I admire them for their discretion in the way they handle their personal affairs. I know it may be asking too much if we expect our bank managers to be screaming queens and come to the office like they were in the Priscilla: Queen of the Desert cast, but we’ll fight each battle that we can win.
What I would like to fight for is to take away THAT FEAR that I see in many of today’s young, talented yet gay professionals every time they want to decide whether to come out to their office mates or not. One problem is these guys don’t work in ‘gay-friendly industries’. You can actually hear the fear in their voice, the fear that they might be found out! - which I personally think is really ridiculous!! Why, what’s the worst thing that your officemate could do? Spread the rumor that you’re gay? But you ARE really gay! So why should THAT rumor hurt you when it’s really the truth! You should be hurt when they say you’re a thief or lazy or incompetent, especially when it’s not true. Sometimes the best way to fight intrigue is just to tell the truth. As one of the golden lessons that I learned from the Julia Roberts’ classic movie, ‘Pretty Woman’, “You should’ve just told them I was a whore, at least that way, I can fight back on equal terms!”.
Charades is a fun party game but it should not be something you do in your real life.
No comments:
Post a Comment