I was a self-confessed youtube addict. Most of my friends around the sites that I’ve signed up for came from youtube. I’ve developed a strong attachment to my youtube site after I met my phoneline friend, I only knew him by the name that he had given me, I don’t know if it was his real name, but I call him Wynnie, after my favorite Hotel. He has this high sense of creativity, and yet, so underrated. I’ve seen how far he would go just to get what he really wants. And one of the things that always bring me back to him was his ability to tell a story as if you are in that story. He’s just too good to be true. And I’ve proven that he’s the best of both worlds.
He has told me stories about his escapades, relationships and everyday life. How his mother cooks for the whole family, and even how his dog got its name. Everything under the sun has been a topic of our conversations. Politics, current events, showbiz and even things from the past didn’t escape our tags. One of his stories was about how his father died. And he told it in a heartbreaking way. I was so speechless at the course of his story. He was literally crying. Sobbing and trying to hold himself together. He is so fragile in that very moment. And I was left hushing.
I know that he would forgive me for telling this.
Their family used to live somewhere in Quezon City. Wynnie, just like I, was a second child. He has an older sister, Shayie and the youngest of them was Santie Lei.
One of the things that really made him cry was the memory of his father not going home in a week, and leaving all of them without any food to eat and they ended up having ketchup as their viand. That was when Wynnie is still young. Unfortunately, they’ve discovered that their father was hitting weeds.
Maybe at the struck of providence, his father realized that he is a head of the family, and he has three children that needs his care and protection. He has been a strict father to all three of them. He was able to move from their home to a better one within Tandang Sora area, and managed to land a good business with friends. He ended up being responsible father by sending them to a good learning facility in the University Belt, and they all earned their University diplomas.
One time, way back in November 2005, Wynnie and his father had a heated argument, and at the burst of emotion, they’ve exchanged harsh words and as a result, both egos were hurt. Wynnie tried to stare away from his father, but at the corner of his eyes, he saw his father looking down at him with a sad look on his face. Wynnie was feeding Lance, Shayie’s son who was five years old that time, when they heard a collapse noise from their father’s bedroom upstairs. When he rushed to his father’s bathroom he saw his father lying on the wet floor, naked, having a hard time trying to catch his breath.
With all his strength, he carried his father to their car, and rushed him to the nearest hospital. He was driving as fast as he could and hitting the horn, honking over and over again. He was cursing every thing that blocks their way. How he cursed the volume of vehicles that day. He can see that his father is really having a hard time to breathe and his tongue turned purple. Wynnie was so afraid, and anxious. But he felt that all of his effort was wasted when the E.R. declared his father to be dead on arrival. Wynnie was crying like a child in the E.R. and no one could stop him until all other members of the family came. His mother embraced him, and was left speechless. All of them were crying.
After that night at the E.R., Wynnie hasn’t slept for two days. Everyone who gave respect at his father’s wake was so worried about him. And they were all trying to comfort him.
He was staring at his father laid in the coffin, sobbing and crying. One of his aunties approached him, tried to talk him out. She said, “Be brave, you are now the head of the family, nobody is to blame, you do not need to punish yourself. Your father loves you more than you’ll ever know. He may not be showing it that much but he does thinks about you and your welfare. He was so worried about you and your mom after the first attack happened”. Wynnie answered briefly, “I tried”.
Wynnie is so detached from the rest of the people around him. In a way, he can’t let go of blaming himself for what happened to his father.
At the succeeding night of the wake, Wynnie was in a way, composed. He was able to talk to people giving respects to the funeral. One old man, about his father’s age, approached him and told a story about Shayie.
The old man said: “Your father was a very good friend of mine. There came a time in our younger life when we had an agreement that after your mom gives birth to your older sister, they will be giving her to us…because after eight years of marriage, still, we haven’t been able to have a child of our own. When Shayie came, I understood his refusal to fulfill that agreement. He has been a father, a good father to your Ate Shayie, and to you and Santie Lei. If not, you wouldn’t be able to grow up as strong as you are right now… Believe me; your father loves you more than you’ll ever know. He always has you in his highest priorities.”
After the knowledge of this agreement about Shayie, Wynnie was so shocked. If that agreement has been fulfilled, He would have been the eldest of the siblings.
Wynnie was crying as he was telling about this story. I know that after seven years, still it hurts that much. That very memory of his father at the rear view mirror of his car still haunts him up till now. Even the sight of Senator Joker Arroyo, reminds him of his father, because he told me that he looked like him that much. Only time will tell when his wounds will heal, and I’m trying my best, all I can to at least make him happy every time we get to talk with each other. He remains the sweetest friend I ever have.
He loves his father, I know. And for sure, unconditionally, his father, just like all fathers loves their children more than they’ll ever know. I cannot speak about the feeling of losing a father, for I still have my father. But the thought of losing mine, hurts me more than I can bear.
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