One thing I like about Holy Week is the time it gives me to reflect or to step back and look at the whole picture of my life. I also love the quiet and the slow pace it brings to the metro, and thanking God for allowing everyone to leave and take their vacations away from the city and, at least for a few days, make it a less stressful place to live in. Frankly, Manila is the best place to be during Holy Week!
Anyhow, one important lesson I learned during the past year is to pare down my cravings for material things. One thing I am guilty of is my habit of accruing things so much so that they already occupy so much space in my life. I'd have magazines and books and CDs and DVDs stacked up to the roof - all unread, all unseen, because my own social calendar would not allow spare time for these things. So last year, I did something about that and I think I'm making a bit of progress already in shedding off that wanton and thoughtless habit collecting things.
This Holy Tuesday, I still thought of continuing to discipline myself in paring down my need to acquire things that I want. One problem with having extra money is that, since you can buy it, you don't think twice about getting it. I have been able, to some degree, control that.
I know you may ask, why do you need God to do that. Well, changing one's habits is never easy, and it would take God's grace for you to change yourself, otherwise, you'd keep falling into the same bad habit again and again.
Like most people, I have my good days and bad days. On good days, I can say no, but on bad days, I would have to pray harder to control myself. In a way, it's a form of cleansing myself from being too materialistic when all I need in life has already been given to me a hundred fold! Not having another collection of DVDs would not make me a better person. It would just crowd out space in the house. It's like by buying this thing, it would make my day better - which is really foolish in a way because it's using an unwanted object and magnifying its importance when in reality, it's just not really needed - and is a waste of money.
So now, I have refocused that need to acquire things into making experiences instead - which is not an easy thing to do for me, especially that I love to be alone - most of the time. So I made some trade-offs, by doing the things I love - alone - instead of buying things and just leaving them on the floor of my room.
This Holy Week, I plan to make a clearer budget so that I'd have an idea on what things to really spend on, and instead, focus on making experiences with friends and people around me. The truth is, by slowly opening up myself to other people these past few years has made my life more interesting. I am still very guarded but at least, I get to choose to develop friendships with people whom I think will not bring in too much garbage into my life.
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