I got that quote from the book of Anne Enright, The Gathering. It is probably the best quote yet I have read from the book. The context behind it is that Ernest, the narrator's brother has just left the priesthood, and has not told their mother yet about it. This is what he says to his sister when she asks why he leaves the priesthood, when he's already old (should be 50-ish already).
And it's a beautiful thing to say - especially to many gay men out there contemplating on coming out or not. It is not easy to live a lie. If you have to - because the society you live in will kill you, literally, if you don't (hello Uganda, Iran, and many other countries), then be sane enough and lead a heterosexual life. Your life is more important even if you have to suffer for it. They will come around, soon! I promise!
However, if you come from a place which is more tolerant (like the Philippines), then go on and live your life and be gay! It's not going to be easy or be a bed of roses either, but at least, you are living the life you want and you are not hurting other people (hello, your wife or your kids!) Also, I've noticed, straight people are more suspicious if you live that double life and would prefer that you be more open to them about your sexuality. Apparently now, more and more people are becoming more tolerant with the gay lifestyle. By living a double life, you also expose yourself to the spectre of AIDS and other STDs from having sex with BOTH men and women (oops, a woman - your poor wife).
So be brave - since you have no other place to live but in your own heart!
I am almost finished reading Anne Enright's The Gathering, and although the subject matter is depressing, I surprisingly find many amusing quotes that describe the lives of the characters in the book.
I won't enthuse too much about the plot so that you will find time to read the book. All I can say now is there is sexual abuse in it which leads, as always, to themost catastrophic consequence - death.
Anyhow, here's the first set of my favorite quotes from the book -
1. "Emily needs to dismantle the world before she can put it back together again" - Emily here, is the young daughter of one of the narrators of the book. The narrator is the sister of the one who gets sexually abused.
2. "I have no place left to live but in my own heart." - One of the narrator's brothers just left the priesthood, and they don't tell their mother, because it would break her heart. This is what the guy, Ernest, says to the narrator, after he leaves the priesthood.
3. "I was living my life in inverted commas. I could pick up my keys and go 'home' where I could 'have sex' with my 'husband' just like lots of other people did. This is what I had been doing for years. And I don't seem to mind the inverted commas, or even notice that I was living in them, until my brother died." - Very powerful stuff! Do you live your life in inverted commas?
3. "Kitty sleeps with lots of men, and she loves each of them and they are all married. Is that a sexual orientation? It should be - the little bitch. She only shags the impossible dream." - Love this line! I was laughing after I read it. Kitty is one of the sisters of the narrator.
4. "Tom leaves the property supplement out on the kitchen table, with rings and ticks around derelict bits of the inner city. He underlines the words, "In need of refurbishment'. I think he means me." - Tom is the husband of the narrator. Their marriage is going through that phase where, everything is in "inverted commas".
5. "My brother has a trained heart; compassion is a muscle for him." - Here, she's talking again of her brother, the ex-priest, who just knows what to say at the right time.