Not Taking BS from Men Anymore, Especially When It Comes to Sex

I went out with a guy around my age last week, for a change, after being with boys half my age for the past few years! Not bad looking - like Monsour del Rosario but with facial hair. So really, mamang mama.

Everything went ok - dinner, coffee, cake with coffee, conversation was stimulating - and since it was the wee hours of the morning na - ayun off to his car we went - to go to paradise! Charot!

So while in the car, we did some small talk again and then he says, "Oh, by the way, if we go out again, I don't want you to wear those shirts that only Ricky Reyes would wear (see picture below)"

Big (silent) gasp on my part! Apparently he was stalking na pala my FB because I was wearing dark gray that night. How did he know of my 'colorful' nature?

Here I was, me so horny na, ready to be the queen of the night, and then the guy says something deflating and nakakawalang-gana.

.

And I wasn't even looking for love! Since I'm old already, I don't take BS na from guys.

Andami kayang guys na Laila Dee lang noh, kaya ayaw ko mag-effort if you're not 100% into me.

So I just feigned an early schedule the next day and took a cab home.

Planetromeo is for the Adventurous

You're gay and actively dating or seeking sex if you know Planet Romeo.  The reason why I'm writing this is that I found out that the word planetromeo is one of the more popular keywords in my blog!  Imagine that!  And I've never even written a single thing about this website! 

Well, planetromeo is a popular gay dating website locally although I think it's based in the Netherlands.  Unfortunately, it's not as popular as its predecessor (a website whose name escapes me right now) but it has actually yielded me some interesting dates.  I won't talk about them here though since some of them are already my FB friends hahaha!  Suffice to say, some of them were fun to be with, some were boring, some were interesting - but there was never a dull moment!

I don't go here much these days since I've sworn off boys for the first quarter of this year.  I'm just too tired of dating anyway these days.  I think that's what my birthday does to me.  It makes me feel old!

But don't worry, I'll be trawling PR soon enough!  I need my fix from time to time!

Looking For A Gay Best Friend

My brother, Vic, made this astute observation before that I didn't have a gay best friend, even a group of gay friends!  Which makes me really feel bad!  I know the gender of the person shouldn't really matter when you choose your friends, but if you look at it, straight men have their straight men friends, women have their gal pals, some women have their fag hags, and many gay men I know have their own gay barkada! Except me!  I couldn't name one when Vic posed to me the question, 'Who is your gay barkada?'  Yikes!

Oh, I have gay friends but I don't really hang out with them.  I have found one or two though who I think might fit this bill since we share the same interests.  I did have close gay friends growing up from elementary up to college.  But once I started working, I was the only one left standing, because all my gay friends got married!  I was the only one stupid enough to lead the life I really wanted!  I did have some in my early twenties but soon as I reached my 30s, I was all by my lonesome - and my friends now are mostly heterosexual men and women - and a lot of younger gay men - where there's always some sexual tension that no friendship can possibly develop.  Somewhat irritating!  You don't sleep with your friends!

So, this coming year, I will try to actively develop a friendship with a gay man whom I don't sleep with!  It's going to be tough to find someone my age but there should be one among the  younger enlightened ones!  This reminds me of the movie 'I Love You Man'.  I am Paul Rudd and I have to find the best man in my wedding!

Lucky to Have A Parent Who Understands

I read an article today in Attitude, a popular UK magazine for gay men that talked about a mature gay man who had an easy time breaking his sexuality to his mother since she understood what he was going through and accepted who his son is.  I can actually empathize with him since I have been lucky to have parents who understood me perfectly.  Even my father who died twenty years ago did not hassle me with my being gay.  I am forever grateful for their unconditional love and understanding.

Six Rules for Guys in their 40s Dating Guys in Their 20s: Rule #6

Rule #6: 

Exercise and get fit – if you’ve seen the Energizer ad – para silang bunny sa kama – they just go on and on and on……that’s the only way to keep up with them

Rule #1: http://pinkfoxpatrol.blogspot.com/2011/12/six-rules-for-guys-in-their-40s-dating.html

Six Rules for Guys in their 40s Dating Guys in Their 20s: Rule #5

Rule #5: 

Introduce them to the real arts – ballet, classical music, art exhibits, musical theatre, the opera – unlike you, it’s not their regular entertainment fare – para naman may konting culture sa buhay nila.

Rule #6 - http://pinkfoxpatrol.blogspot.com/2011/12/six-rules-for-guys-in-their-40s-dating_995.html

Six Rules for Guys in their 40s Dating Guys in Their 20s: Rule #4

Rule #4: 

Don’t buy them expensive stuff – masasanay – I tell them – you have to work for it – it will give dignity to your labor and it will make you feel good about yourself - ‘CHOS! And turo ng isang DOM sa akin, why buy the cow when you can just taste the beef……

Rule #5 - http://pinkfoxpatrol.blogspot.com/2011/12/six-rules-for-guys-in-their-40s-dating_1860.html

Six Rules for Guys in their 40s Dating Guys in Their 20s: Rule #3

Rule #3:

Oo out ka na – tanda mo na e, pero these guys are not, so tone down the colors of your clothes – Pucci is out, Ann Demeulmeester is in. Kaya lahat ng bago kong damit, grey, dark blue or black – kahit nakakaantok isuot – no choice – anyway, it hides the belly so ok na rin!

Rule #4 - http://pinkfoxpatrol.blogspot.com/2011/12/six-rules-for-guys-in-their-40s-dating_3609.html

Six Rules for Guys in their 40s Dating Guys in Their 20s: Rule #1

Rule #1:

Never talk to them the way his parents do - even if his parents are actually your age - you are his lover, not his mother - if you feel like giving a sermon - let your mouth do other things to him to prevent it from talking....

Rule #2 - http://pinkfoxpatrol.blogspot.com/2011/12/six-rules-for-guys-in-their-40s-dating_05.html

Looking Forward to the Day When Two Guys Can Just Kiss in Public

I was watching the video of Marsha Ambrosius' new song "Far Away", and I was shocked and happy to see that through her song, she is spreading the message of tolerance.  I won't be giving the story of her video away.  I will let you just check it out on Youtube.

Anyway, it reminded me of how careful Alberto and I always have to be when we see each other.  I mean, for straight people, they can just easily give their wife, husband, lover, mistress, kabit, one night stand, or whoever - a kiss on the cheek or on the lips, to say hello, or goodbye - and no one would care or take notice or take offense. 

But if two guys start kissing each other that way - all hell could break loose - and the heavens will open and swallow those two poor guys who just love each other and bring them straight to hell!!

Alberto and I always kiss when we meet but sometimes, when his officemates are there, he just gives me the eye and we just give each other a hug.  One night, after dinner, I remember, I was about to say goodbye to him and I was about to kiss him, and we realized we were in a taxi queue, so we just hugged each other instead.  Sigh! I wish I could just give him a kiss on the lips anytime I want.  And I don't mean those torrid French kisses.  Just a peck on the lips would do - like mwah!  Giving a kiss to say hello or goodbye are things straight people take for granted because they can do it without censure or shame or angry looks from people nearby. 

Anyhow, I still do kiss Alberto in public if I feel no one is watching.  But I'm looking forward to the day that I can do just that without fearing the wrath of intolerant people around me.

Boylet Tales: Guys Who Are Boyfriend Material

I went back to the gym today after a few day's rest due to the Holy Week holidays.  The place was relatively quiet as many Metro Manilans were still in the provinces.  Anyhow, I did meet this guy who I normally see once in a while in this branch of Fitness First that I go to.  He's mestizo, goodlooking, with a wonderful smile and very flirty eyes. He also has a really nice hairy chest and anyhow we got into conversation and in the middle of it, I suddenly blurted out that he was boyfriend material.  I am normally very candid about things so it didn't surprise me that that came out.  His reaction was a bit coy but I think he appreciated it.  Of course, I said, I was already spoken and saying that to him would get us nowhere anyway - at least romantically.  I guess I just said that to him because there are not many guys of boyfriend material around - especially in the gay world where promiscuous sex exists.  It was nice to meet someone who was just cool about who he was although he was ravishingly attractive.  Oh well, flirty me!

Would You Use A Hall Pass if your Partner Gives You One?

In the movie Hall Pass, two couples try to save their marriages by granting their husbands a hall pass, which allows the guys to take one week off from their marriages - one week without their kids, and having the chance to sleep with other women!  It's an intriguing way to save one's marriage and the movie did try to explain why they had to do that.

Now, the question begs to be answered too, at least from my personal point of view.  Well, if our relationship is really on the rocks then I guess no hall pass is needed.  We just might as well break up - so we can see other people - in a proper way.  Having a hall pass is kinda sticky and may come back to haunt us both, especially, if we entangle ourselves with a psycho or someone who does not understand that it's only sex that we want from them.  It could as easily go the direction of a suspense thriller instead of just one week off from the hubby.

If I do get a hall pass, I'd just stick to doing my harmless hobbies.  That way, I don't get tempted to play with fire.  Playing with fire just makes our lives more complicated, when it need not be.

Four Ways to Manage A Long Distance Relationship

I never expected to be in a long-distance relationship.  I did try to date men who were just proximate to me but I just love Alberto, and feel that, even with the distance between us, he is always there when I need him (well, not always really.)  Nowadays, I can easily distinguish between lust and love – and just deal with the lust accordingly.

This was not always the case though but in recent years, since I moved back to Manila, and he, to London, we’ve had to do the transcontinental romance, which has been going on for several years now.    Well, these are the ways that we have managed to be interested in each other despite the distance and despite the scarcity of seeing each other.

1.     There’s always something new to talk about in each of our lives.  Our conversations never gets boring since there’s always something new happening to us.  Like, he just came from a trip to Pakistan which he was very excited about.  My taking Spanish classes and how I found the language is also something we talk about.

 

2.    We meet several times a year.  Yeah, we do meet 3-4 times a year so our situation is much better than most OFW (Overseas Filipino Workers) I know.  It is costly though so we try our best to find the time to enjoy each other when we do meet.  I guess since we are given this chance only a few times a year, we are always excited to see each other.

3.    Calls are important.  We do call each other regularly.  At least once a month.  Thanks to Skype, it’s not much of a problem anymore.

4.    We trust each other.  It’s been our sixth year already and counting!  I guess we have transcended that jealousy thing now.  I sometimes kid him about my young boys but really, they are just passing fancy.

Boylet Tales: You're Complaining to Me You Can't Find A BF when You're THAT Cute!

I was in a party last week where most of the attendees were gay men but mainly of the pepper type (mga paminta!).  I was glad I immediately struck a conversation with a younger guy (all of them are younger than me now) who had his own events company.  Anyhow, he said he was waiting for his friend so I decided to just hang out with him and chat for a while.

Well, the interesting thing was this friend he was waiting for turned out to be this cute guy with beautiful eyes and a horny sense of humor!  Anyway, after setting aside the niceties (and maybe because they had something to drink already), Mr. Cute Guy started complaining to us about his nonexistent lovelife!  And of course, we were shocked!  I mean, gay men are not blind, and they are still men!  If they see a cute guy, it will not take a second for them to pounce on the prey.  Seriously?! We asked him.  He said, yeah, and down came the list of things he wanted from another guy. 

Basically, he was just asking for someone like him - in interests, educational background, social status and wealth.  But he said he wanted someone not in his social circle. (From the back of my mind - Yeah, because you've slept with all of them already, you whore!)  Well, turned out, his friend, Mr. Events Guy also fancied Mr. Cute Guy but was too shy because he knew he'd just get rejected. (Which Mr. Cute Guy denied immediately.) Mr. Cute Guy was even thinking of just settling for Mr. Right Now but we both said NOOOOO.  We told him to just be polite and turn down those you really don't fancy.  We all get rejected anyway, and it just makes it worse if you lead them on.

A lot of the guys in that party were checking him out because he really had the bearing and the face but he purposely stood behind a wall to hide from them.  (See!  How can you find a bf when you hide everytime an opportunity presents itself!) He also said he didn't want anymore call center guys, or nurses, or people from his gym.  (Yeah, you've effectively crossed out 90% of the gay crowd in Manila.)  Worse, he wanted the guy to come from certain schools only! (Ok, since I went to Poveda and Assumption, I'm out of his list already).  Mr. Events Guy and I could just sigh.  We need not ask anymore why he could not find a bf.  His demands are just too ridiculous. 

Anyhow, I didn't want to hear any more of his rants on that topic since it was useless advising him.  He was set on his ways.  I suggested we leave the party and go somewhere I can have something sweet to lick.   Everything after that is not for public consumption anymore but I may have found out the reason why he could not hold on to a guy - especially in a community so obsessed with 'taille'.  Nevertheless, I still got his number and we're going out soon.  Turns out we both love classical music!

I Prefer Being Friends With the Ex

I was in the spa yesterday and I bumped into an ex from the 1990s.  We conveniently ignored each other.  However, next week, I am flying to HK to celebrate the birthday of my latest ex!  Such different reactions to two different ex's! 

The interesting thing is, I am friends with more of my ex's than those who I just ignore when I see them.  I think it depends on how we broke up.  If the break up was filled with acrinomy, then I never want to talk with that person again.  But if the break-up was less acrimonious, then the possibility of us being friends again is higher. 

Also, I do like to maintain the friendship since these guys are really people I like in the first place!  We have many similarities and we like the same things - so there's no reason to maintain the friendship.  Of course, it does not happen immediately since it takes time to heal the wounds.  But heal it does and some of my ex's are now good friends again.  We just try never to cross that line anymore from friendship to love - it just makes things more complicated.

Steven Davies Comes Out - Professional Sports Needs More 'Out' Players

It's about time someone in professional sports comes 'out'.  Not an easy thing to do, especially in a testosteron-charged environment like the locker room, but we have to move on with the times.  I don't know how one's sexual preferences can interfere with someone's game!  So I'm really glad that Steven Davies made that announcement last week that he was gay.  Cricket is not quite a very popular sport worldwide, but at the level Davies is playing, it could slowly take out the stigma that comes with one's sexuality, especially in the world of professional sports.  I hope someone in the men's tennis world is brave enough to come out soon!

In the Philippines, Gay Men Prefer Straight Men

My gay friends are often amused when I tell them that here in the Philippines, gay men still prefer straight men - and all of them would look incredulously at me!  Of course, common sense would dictate that it's a no-win situation, but in a country where poverty is widespread, it is not uncommon for straight men to 'use' gay men for money, for career advancement, for any viable reason that a beautiful but poor woman would also do just to hook up with that filthy rich but really ugly man. 

So I told them, really feminine gay men (and many masculine gay men) have relationships with handsome straight men, albeit poor men, who sometimes 'abuse' these gay men.  But of course, I believe these 'sisters' of mine get into these 'relationships' with eyes wide open, so they really know the consequences of their actions.  So it's not uncommon to see them crying their hearts out in the end when the straight guy decides to be with the woman he really loves!  But even then, some gay men still continue to support their lovers plus their wife and their kids too!  See, love is really blind!! 

Hurrah to Civil Unions! When, oh when will the Philippines come around?

I was reading the paper today and there was an article there that featured a civil union between two Filipinos who were already working in New Zealand.  Apparently, New Zealand is now one of the countries which allow same sex partners virtually the same migration, property and next-of-kin status as husbands and wives. 

Today, there are now ten countries in the world that recognize same sex marriage: Argentina, the Netherlands, Belgium, Spain, Canada, South Africa, Norway, Sweden, Portugal and Iceland.  Also, these are the countries that recognize civil partnerships: Andorra, Australia, Austria, Colombia, Czech Republic, Denmark, Ecuador, Slovenia, Finland, France, Hungary, Iceland, Luxembourg, New Zealand, Switzerland and the United Kingdom.

As for the Philippines, oh well, I don't think it'll ever happen in my generation mainly because the Catholic Church still has a very strong presence here.  It really would take time before the majority of the people here would come around to the idea of granting the same rights now available to straight people.  As a gay man, do I really want it here?  Hmmm....I don't think it matters much, at least to me.  The dichotomy of the gay men relationship here is a bit different to that of the Western concept, so it's going to be a strange idea to the bakla who works in the parlor.

Three Reasons Why You Should Date that Guy Who's Ten Years Younger Than You

One of my most interesting girl friends doesn't want to date guys who are ten years younger or more, than herself.  Once she knows that the guy falls into that age range, she just immediately says no!  Funny thing is, these past six months, I have been going out with guys who are 15 years younger than me, some even half my age - and it's such an eye-opening experience, which I think these great gal pals of mine should at least experience - even for just the fun of it!

I could think of three good reasons why they should at least, give these guys a chance -

#1 The sex is vava-voom!!  To say the least!  Think rock hard most of the time, think Energizer bunny!  What I would give to have that amount of energy now, at my age!

#2 They are just so adorable, when they're younger!  Less baggage, more laughter, more smiles, slimmer waists, and much easier to please.  And they smell fresher!

#3 I know the generation gap opens when he thinks Madonna is the music his Mom plays and that Cher is a grandmother, which is actually true, considering the ages of these ladies, which, really are the icons of my generation, but, you also get to know what's hip now - since for younger people, anything older than a year old - be it a song, a movie, a gadget - is, well, old!  That's just how they think.  Come to think of it, I also used to think that way, until nostalgia started creeping in about ten years ago, when I turned 30.  Admittedly, my world view became better when I started dating these really young guys.  It was much much more fun!

So, go for it!  Keep your eyes wide open, and the truth is, if they say yes to you for a date - and you didn't have to pay them - could maybe mean they still find you vivalicious!

Three Reasons Why You Shouldn't Be Sad When Your Boyfriend Confesses to You He's Gay

An acquaintance of mine in the gym, casually came to me and confessed that her boyfriend of five years told her that he is gay, and that he found someone else (a guy of course), and that they had to break up.  Well, I'm not really very close with this girl but I guess since we always say hi when we see each other in the gym, she chose to confide her worst experience with me.  Because I was shocked by her revelation, all I could say at that time was be sorry for her, that it had to happen to her and that I hoped she won't hate gay men.

Well, I did mull about what happened to her and I came out with three reasons why she shouldn't really be sad because of what happened to her -

1.  She had a good friend all those years - and although nothing happened to them (sexually, according to her), he, in a way, was a de facto best friend, who just happened to be a guy, and if she can still handle it, she can still make him her best friend, and confide in him all her problems, especially that they know each other so well...

2.  She did try her best to convert a gay man to be straight (without her full knowledge), so she did her duty to make less one gay man, but the truth is, it takes more than tits and booties to convert a gay man to becoming straight....

3.  It's not very easy for a gay man to out himself so it took his ex-boyfriend a lot of guts to say it straight to her face.  A lot of straight men are not even man enough to break up with you face to face.  Even though her ex turned out to be gay, he was man enough to admit it to her before they chose to make the relationship go deeper.

Before we parted, she said to me, she'll introduce the guys she will be dating to me, just for me to find out if they are playing for my team or her team.  Next time, she really wants to be sure!  I feel you gurl!!