Living With Your Life Choices: Easier Said Than Done

It was a bit unnerving to see that one of the biggest lessons Mama ever taught us, came from the mouth of Xian Lim's character in a scene from All You Need is Pag-Ibig, where he chastises Kim Chiu's character.

When I was younger, whenever Mama and I would have an argument (or even with my brothers), she would always say "Choice mo yan. You made a choice." She would always catch us when we start blaming other people for our problems.

That, in essence, is what Xian says to Kim in the movie. You are in the rut you find yourself in, because of the poor life choices you've made! It's time to stop blaming your Dad, or other people for the bad situation you are in and take control of your life.

So at an early age, we were already saddled with this problem of facing the consequences of our choices - which I think really helped us a lot in making us very independent at a very young age - at least for my brother and me. My sisters had it much easier.

I think I was also lucky that Mama just allowed us to make our own life choices because the life I am living now is exactly the way I imagined it to be when I was 20 years old. Well, maybe plus a thing or two, LOL!

I could've been married now, but just like my wise Mama said, I made a choice a few years ago, which led me to this path of singlehood. So I've had to live with that decision! Tanga lang!

Oh well, we all have some regrets in our life and I have three major regrets but no use dwelling on them since nakaraan na and I made the choice na rin at that point in my life.

Kaya nga, when Xian said those words emphatically to Kim in that movie, ayun, parang sinampal na naman ako. San na nga yung popcorn and Coke, leche, pinaalala pa ako about some of my poor choices in my life!

Alone is not the Same as Feeling Lonely

There's this wonderful scene in All You Need is Pag-Ibig where Kris Aquino's character talks to that of Derek Ramsay. I wasn't able to catch the script perfectly, but her character says something like "Being single is not the problem, it's being alone" - which I think should be changed to "Being single is not the problem, it's the times when you feel lonely that sucks".

I think being alone is not the same as being lonely. There's a huge difference!

The truth is, I have seen many married people who are very lonely. That's an even bigger tragedy because they are not alone, but they are lonely. But that's a topic for another essay.

I haven't had any problems about being alone. I love being alone. It's a truth about me that I learned about myself when I was 13 years old. Even now that I'm much much older, I don't have problems about traveling alone, or eating alone or doing things on my own.

It doesn't mean I don't love being with my friends, it just means, I need my 'alone' time, when I can just be with me and my thoughts and me and my own 'devices' - immersing in my own world. I actually find myself a very good companion.

I think I can just count myself lucky that I rarely feel lonely. Maybe because I have many siblings and so many friends din. Or maybe because I have too many hobbies to take up my time. And it's always good to make friends with as many boys (or girls for that matter) para just in case you need booty, di gawa na ng booty call....asus, wallowing in loneliness is for losers......

Lessons from All You Need is Pag-Ibig: For the Millennials Who Are Always in a Hurry

There's a scene in the MMFF entry 'All You Need is Pag-Ibig' where Kim Chiu's character lashes out at her high school friends  for making fun of her behind her back during their high school reunion in Coron, Palawan.

Based on Kim's character in the movie, she should only be 25-27 years old.  There's a reason why the life of Kim's character did not pan out the way she wanted it to be - and why her friends treated her that way - but you'd have to watch the movie na lang to find out.  

I have met many millennials kasi who are such in a hurry to be successful in life!  

I want to tell them - just relax, the journey of life is long, it's very long!!  Many people haven't really found out what they want to do in life at 25!  

Just stop comparing your life with your friends.  Our individual journeys will take us through different paths.  If some of your friends treat you like 's***', then they are not your real friends and just look for people who will treat you well. 

One thing I learned about life is just sow the seeds of your future.  Learn. Apprentice. Find a really good mentor and humble yourself and learn as much as you can from him or her and will accept you for who you are.

Just don't forget to give as well kasi people hate friends who just take and take, but never give. Give and take ang friendship noh.

Also, accept all the racket you can get that will lead you to the future you imagine yourself to be in.  

Continue to improve yourself, para when that opportunity comes for you to shine, you are ready for it.

Everything will just fall into place.

The first million is the most difficult to earn, but once you get there, there is no looking back.  Like love, money also begets money!